Man Bag – which one is the best one. Help me choose.

Man bag. You can tell by the sneeriness of the name — and the fact that no one has yet thought of anything less derogatory — that the very idea of a bloke carrying a handbag still bears a certain stigma. Certainly, until about a decade ago, the only straight men you would see carrying such a thing with any conviction were in Venice and Florence, and even they looked incredibly silly if you weren’t Italian and used to such mummy’s boy campery.

Today, though, the man bag has rapidly mutated from Italians-only to gay man’s accessory to optional extra to downright essential. Partly to blame is the fashion for tight, skinny-fit jeans and narrow jackets, which make it quite impossible to keep anything in your pockets (no wonder I keep losing my mobile phone in taxis); but mainly it’s because we boys are tending to carry so much more stuff around than before.

In the Eighties you could get away with just a Filofax and your brick-sized car phone. Now it’s quite common to lug round with you the whole office: your laptop, your digital camera, your power cables, your papers, your indoor golf set. And for this you need a bag. A big bag. One with a shoulder strap because you don’t want to be holding it in your hand, like a briefcase, all the time. Hence the ascendance of the man bag. We didn’t choose it. It chose us.

As a fairly regular cyclist, I have to say I find man bags a bit of a pain. When you’re on your bike they keep sliding forward and banging around and getting caught in your front wheel. And even when you’re not on a bike, they’re not at all the sort of thing your yoga/Alexander/Pilates teacher would recommend. They unbalance you. And if they’re really heavy, you keep having to shift them from shoulder to shoulder, which is a nuisance.

So why not a rucksack instead? I’ll tell you why not: because if you care about looking even remotely smart, a rucksack will destroy the effect in an instant. It’s something to do with having two straps over your shoulder rather than one. Even if you get something groovy and skateboardy by, say, Gravis or Eastpak, the only kit that your bag will really go with is skate gear. If being spotty and 15 and having no life beyond MTV is the look you seek, by all means get a rucksack. (I use one all the time, I should point out, so I’m being a bit hypocritical here). Otherwise a man bag I’m afraid it has to be.

And not just one man bag either. This is the amazing truth I discovered recently on a day trip to Newcastle. I’d planned to cram all my stuff into the crappy old black canvas bag that I was given about ten years ago by a defunct cable channel when my wife came up with a better idea: “Why not borrow my Orla Kiely?” Now, this Orla Kiely is a wonderful thing, in a much more unisex khaki canvas with a fluorescent yellow stripe on top, and I would heartily recommend you get one from her website if there were still any left in stock. However, this season she has a reversible leather sling bag — one side is green, the other stone-coloured — which makes a good substitute.

Like a lot of Kiely’s stuff, it has a smiley, uplifting feel. What I like best, though, is its wondrous capaciousness — somehow it is compact yet roomy. You can have tremendous fun filling the useful sleeve and zip compartments with all your boy things. And because it’s more hand-luggage-sized than everyday-sized, you don’t have that nightmare on plane and train journeys when your bits and bobs are spread out in half a dozen carrier bags, at least one of which you inevitably forget. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that one man bag isn’t enough. You need to think like a girl here and say to yourself: “I can never have too many accessories.” Not only do you need bigger bags for day trips and smaller ones for ordinary use, but you also, I’m afraid, need to find different ones to go with different outfits.

If you’re a typical bloke, you will at this point be grunting sceptically and going: “Rubbish. My manly and expensive black Tumi Messenger bag is all I’ll ever need.” Well, sorry mate, but, with respect, this attitude explains why no one is ever going to mistake you for a man of style. It’s not the Tumi bag per se that’s wrong (all boys love Tumis because of their brutish functionality); rather it’s that black doesn’t go with everything. If you’re wearing autumnal tones or pastels, for example, you’ll need something brown, and probably made of leather or suede, not something black and synthetic. And if you’re wearing something sportif you’d be better off with something skate-punky, such as the orange and green striped Crumpler bag featured here.

Selfridges’ basement, incidentally, is one of the best places for man bags. I spotted some rugged ones by Jost in olive canvas and PVC with lots of nice pockets. I’d also have a look in Topman, which always has a good selection of reasonable ones. Look out for the canvas messenger bags in olive and brown, with pleasingly preppy striped straps — they look great with jeans. Also try Ally Capellino, back in business with some decent-looking leather ones; Paul Smith, who’s always good for slightly wacky ones; and Belstaff (macho, outdoorsy ones).

At the upper end of the market, for when you’re wearing a suit and need to look sharp, you should be looking at places such as Burberry, Dolce & Gabbana, Berluti, Dunhill, Mulberry, Prada or Louis Vuitton. And Patrick Cox is doing a fab one in green suede — unfortunately it’s not available until early next year.

Help me. tell me which is the best man bag and where do I get one?